Sunday, February 5, 2017

More Famous Jokes

More Famous Jokes

Daughter: Mom, I’m pregnant! 
Mom: I thought I told you when a guy touches your boobs, say don’t, and when he touches you vagina, say stop. 
Daughter: But he kept touching both, so it came out, "don’t, stop, don’t, stop.

How does the ocean say hello?
It waves!

Q: Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?
A: Because they might peel!

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did – in his sleep. Not yelling and 

screaming like the passengers in his car. 

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back. 
- Oscar Wilde

Now that I'm married, I'm being asked questions I have never been asked before in my entire life. The other day, my wife came up to me and said, "Do you think I'm fat?" 

I said, "Excuse me sweetheart, but do you see "stupid " written on my face?. Then She said:  
Do you see "let's have a fight for no apparent reason" written on my face somewhere?'

More Famous Jokes

Sunday, January 22, 2017

Best gay quotes: The best gay quotes and most famous gay quotes

Best gay quotes: The best gay quotes and most famous gay quotes

Star Wars gay Quotes Holding hands

A collection of best gay qutoes and famous gay quotes from the internet and from people gay or not who likes to share their thoughts and points of view about being gay. Enjoy..

Best gay quotes: Famous gay quotes #1

If gay and lesbian people are given civil rights, then everyone will want them!

Best gay quotes: Famous gay quotes #2

When I was in the military they gave me a medal for killing two men and a discharge for loving one.
-Epitaph of Leonard P.

Best gay quotes: Famous gay quotes #3

Everybody's journey is individual. If you fall in love with a boy, you fall in love with a boy. The fact that many Americans consider it a disease says more about them than it does about homosexuality.
-James Baldwin

Best gay quotes: Famous gay quotes #4

Why is it that, as a culture, we are more comfortable seeing two men holding guns than holding hands?
-Ernest Gaines

Best gay quotes: Famous gay quotes #5

You don't have to be straight to be in the military; you just have to be able to shoot straight.
-Barry Goldwater

Best gay quotes: Famous gay quotes #6

What is straight? A line can be straight, or a street, but the human heart, oh, no, it's curved like a road through mountains.
-Tennessee Williams

Best gay quotes: Famous gay quotes #7

There is nothing wrong with going to bed with someone of your own sex. People should be very free with sex, they should draw the line at goats.
-Elton John

Best gay quotes: Famous gay quotes #8

I'm a supporter of gay rights. And not a closet supporter either. From the time I was a kid, I have never been able to understand attacks upon the gay community. There are so many qualities that make up a human being... by the time I get through with all the things that I really admire about people, what they do with their private parts is probably so low on the list that it is irrelevant.
-Paul Newman

Best gay quotes: Famous gay quotes #9

Straight Americans need... an education of the heart and soul. They must understand - to begin with - how it can feel to spend years denying your own deepest truths, to sit silently through classes, meals, and church services while people you love toss off remarks that brutalize your soul.
-Bruce Bawer

Best gay quotes: Famous gay quotes #10

People sometimes think I'm gay because I once played a gay in a movie. It's funny. Audiences don't think you're a murderer if you play a murderer, but they do think you're gay if you play a gay.
-Perry King

more best gay quotes






Friday, October 21, 2011

From A Mother With Love Funny Redneck Jokes | Funny Jokes

From A Mother With Love

Dear Child,

I am writing this slow because I know that you can't read fast.

We don't live where we did when you left home.

Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home so we moved.

I won't be able to send you the address, as the last family that lived here took the house numbers when they left so that they wouldn't have to change their address.

This place is real nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure if it works too well though.

Last week I put a load in, pulled the chain, and haven't seen them since.

The weather isn't too bad here., it only rained twice last week, The first time it rained for three days and the second time for four days. The coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Steve said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. We got another bill from the funeral home.

They said if we don't make the last payment on Grandma's grave, up she comes. John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were worried because it took him two hours to get me and Shelby out.

Your sister had a baby this morning but I haven't found out what it is yet, so I don't know if you're an aunt or an uncle. If the baby is a girl, your sister is going to name it after me, she's going to call it Mom.

Uncle Pete fell in a whiskey vat last week. Some man tried to pull him out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated and he burned for three days.

Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pick-up truck. Ralph was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your two friends were in the back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down.

There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much has happened.

PS, I was going to send you some money but the envelope was already sealed.

From A Mother With Love Funny Redneck Jokes | Funny Jokes
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