More Famous Jokes
Daughter: Mom, I’m pregnant!
Mom: I thought I told you when a guy touches your boobs, say don’t, and when he touches you vagina, say stop.
Daughter: But he kept touching both, so it came out, "don’t, stop, don’t, stop.
How does the ocean say hello?
It waves!
Q: Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?
A: Because they might peel!
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did – in his sleep. Not yelling and
screaming like the passengers in his car.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.
- Oscar Wilde
Now that I'm married, I'm being asked questions I have never been asked before in my entire life. The other day, my wife came up to me and said, "Do you think I'm fat?"
I said, "Excuse me sweetheart, but do you see "stupid " written on my face?. Then She said:
Do you see "let's have a fight for no apparent reason" written on my face somewhere?'
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