Sunday, February 5, 2017

More Famous Jokes


More Famous Jokes


Daughter: Mom, I’m pregnant! 
Mom: I thought I told you when a guy touches your boobs, say don’t, and when he touches you vagina, say stop. 
Daughter: But he kept touching both, so it came out, "don’t, stop, don’t, stop.

How does the ocean say hello?
It waves!

Q: Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?
A: Because they might peel!

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did – in his sleep. Not yelling and 

screaming like the passengers in his car. 

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back. 
- Oscar Wilde

Now that I'm married, I'm being asked questions I have never been asked before in my entire life. The other day, my wife came up to me and said, "Do you think I'm fat?" 

I said, "Excuse me sweetheart, but do you see "stupid " written on my face?. Then She said:  
Do you see "let's have a fight for no apparent reason" written on my face somewhere?'

More Famous Jokes

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